We will admit. We judged. We still judge at times. It’s hard! Not until you reach a time in your life where someone judges you and makes you feel terrible inside, do you begin to realize how wrong it is.

What gives anyone the right to judge someone else? Absolutely nothing. Think of the old saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover”. Well, it is true! It goes both ways. A book with a boring and blah cover could be the best book you will read.  A book with a bright, colorful, and beautiful cover could be a book that makes you fall asleep or set it down before you even make it on to chapter two.

We have not only experienced this with books….and wine bottles, but we have experienced this probably every day.  We have made a serious effort to become less judgy and more understanding. Along with this comes finding the best in people, even if it’s really hard to do.  We have all been there. With that one person. Now, we are not saying we have this perfected. We are far from that! We are just happy we are trying to get better. And we are trying together. Again, it helps so much to have that accountability partner. Not until you can stop comparing yourself to others and begin to be happy in your own skin will you stop the judgments you make. 

Here are some ways we have judged in the past…

“She is wayyy too skinny”

“She wears way too much makeup”

“She just needs constant attention….it’s all about her”

“Could that mom control her screaming child!?” 

And the list could go on…

When really, do we know why they are skinny? Maybe it is because they are struggling with depression.  Maybe it is because they are actually eating a well-balanced diet and exercising as much as they should be (unlike us).  Or maybe because they have some sort of illness with their digestive system. Do we know why they wear a lot of makeup? Maybe it is to cover up acne that has them too embarrassed to even show their face in public. Or maybe it is because they just love makeup and are extremely artistic when it comes to applying it — the furthest thing from what we know about makeup!  Or maybe it is because they had a long night, filled with tears over something serious, and are trying to hide up their hurt. Do we know why that girl needs constant attention? Nope. We don’t know that either.  Maybe it is because she doesn’t get attention anywhere else in her life and never has. Maybe she grew up with parents who focused more on themselves than her. Or maybe it is because she just loves the attention we have given her in the past. That might be a compliment thrown right at us. Who doesn’t love compliments?

These are all real-life problems.  These problems happen more than we know, no doubt.  Everyone walks around with a story that is untold. This story might be the reason why they look tired, lost a lot of weight super fast, got the fancy new car, or the reason why they snap at you in defense over everything. Although it is hard to overcome judging others for the “weird” things they do, there is always a reason. A reason that is probably deeper than we know. We have no right in judging. 

Instead of making these quick judgments about people, let’s try and let them be them for once. And even to take it further, try and understand or help them!  Many of the judgemental thoughts that run through our brain every hour are because of what we have also gone through and the lack of confidence we have in ourselves. In order to stop judging, we need to figure out how to be okay with who we are first. This all goes back to: Be you. Do you. For you. Stop comparing. This will be the only road to move past judgment and onto understanding and full happiness in yourself and those who surround you.

We want you to do two things this week:

1. The next time you judge someone’s appearance, stop and think if you are comparing them to someone, maybe even yourself, for no apparent reason. Remember you are not perfect and neither are they. We all have a story that is unique. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.  For more inspiration on this topic, check out Jenna Kutcher. She is AMAZING! 
2. The next time you find yourself judging someone’s character or decision making, remember that everyone grew up different.  The way they make decisions or the way they react to things might be because of how they grew up. And that might be totally different than how you grew up. It’s okay to be different. There is no right way to grow up.  

 

Stop the judging! Call someone out on it if you see them doing it. We are trying and we want you to do the same.

 

Xoxo,

 

Erin & Emily